by Sandra Radja
I know a guy that won't date women over 50. I know a woman that told me that once you hit menopause it's all downhill from here. But thankfully I also know women like Komala Lyra that defies the standardised idea of how women should be and how we should grow older. Komala is magnetic and exciting to be around.
As a woman in my 40's I see younger women look up to me so see what their 40's might be like. I do the same. I look ahead to see what's coming. It's a natural aspect of evolving. And every single one of us wants to know that what lies ahead is a vibrancy and wisdom that can only come by doing the work.
And Komala tells us it's about the flow and an openness to loving and taking care of the body. For too long us women have been living in reaction to men, defining ourselves by the attention we crave for validation. We can be our own worst enemies. The feminist movement was reactionary, and probably needed to be at the time. But now, it's different, and there is a new wisdom about that does not fight against an oppressor but sees herself as her own golden ticket. She innately has the tools to resonate on a higher frequency. She learns to live inside out and she is tapped into the beauty that a strong Ojas or Aura can give. She will turn heads from her confidence and wisdom. And she shares this wisdom with her younger sisters. Because there is nothing more soul destroying than jealousy amongst us women. No man can teach you about the ways of being a woman. They can tell you the theory of your biology but they do not know how we ride on feelings and waves of the moon.
So celebrate with me. And know there are some teachers, such as Komala, that will show you the truth of being a woman. Seek her out and spend some time in her presence. You might discover the wild woman in you - it's been there all along.
1. I am of the belief that in order to teach the science of life, it is helpful to have lived a colourful life to draw from. Your adventures come from a storybook. What is one story that helped you tap into yourself as a woman?
Hummmm… different experiences inspired me to awaken my energy as a woman, ultimately as a more conscious human being.
When I was 20 years old, I met a man who impelled me to trust and follow my intuition, seek and realize all that I envisioned to be possible. We decided to get married a few hours after we had met. With him I lived the fullness of passion, love, sensuality, sexuality, adventure, experiments, daring, intensity, creativity, self-discovery, pain, bliss, inquiring into what was truthful for me… He set me free from frames of conditioning, inviting me to honor my own qualities, provoking me to feel my heart-soul as core guidance, to look deeper for what was real inside, to live without limitations… His imprint in my life set up the tone for all other relationships afterwards. I am grateful!
Then there was the meeting with Osho, an initiation that has no ending… meditation and awareness of death as a reminder to live fully! Total surrender to life brought me closer to feminine qualities that keep being revealed in receptivity, creativity, love…
On another level, from my memory lane comes a magnificent Indian woman walking barefoot carrying bucket on top of her head filled with heavy bricks… Her pace and grace were awe-inspiring. I sat there for a long time watching her movements, and started breathing deeper just in resonance with her beauty. Her gentleness, her awareness of each step, her radiance…made me feel an unexplained joy, and know that it was possible to live in that plenitude beyond circumstances. At that time I was in my early twenties and had been in various circles of women with beauty, youth and wealth Western style. That experience moved me to another realm of sensitivity with my own body and self-image. Deep inside!
To complete, I have to recall a beloved friend ~ Kaveesha, who was pure love, raw, vibrant, down to earth, kali-like sometimes, showering me, and others with tremendous generosity.
I realized then that Western cultures are mainly stingy at all levels, including with love. The collective conditioning is to only give when you believe that you are going to receive, to only share with people you consider special, to wait until one day you will meet that dream love, and that may never happen… How can we offer what we are afraid to loose? It is a catch 22.
Being in her presence for several years has been a gift, erasing fears and nourishing vulnerability as the true power of love.
2. In your "about page" you end with "may my practice and life be one". I like that. What does that mean for you?
This phrase has been a key for integration in my life. When I heard it for the first time, I had just returned to the USA, after having lived in India for many years. At that time, it was not easy to integrate the lifestyle of a blissful ashram environment, where I bathed in silence, beauty, meditation, dance, love, conscious sexuality, soul-heart friends, and a master at the core… with the American pace of life, living with a lover in the midst of a neighborhood. This phrase made me realize that the choice was inside at each moment: there was nothing outside that had the power to take me away from my practice. Awareness was possible with each breath. AH!!! No excuses… I realized that every action is an opportunity to wake up to presence. Every action contains the stillness of my heart if it is open.
3. Sensuality and sexuality feature in your healing modalities, can you explain the essence of these and why you feel it's important to teach others about this?
I grew up in Brazil, spending much time in nature, outdoors, with a lot of freedom to live in my body in a spontaneous way, swimming, horse riding, walking in the forest... May be my upbringing, genes, or karma, does not matter… But I always felt that my body was telling me what I needed to eat, to do, to choose. My senses are very keen and serve as my guides. I have observed that in most cultures, the body is repressed for different reasons, becoming dull and robot like – following mental commands, and/or self-perpetuating habits. In this process, we stop breathing, we slowly kill our aliveness.
Most people lose touch with the spontaneity and intelligence that is sparked by their body’s sensitivity. So, they start looking for outer guidance, models to follow, searching for security and approval, to make sure that they are being “good”, doing things “right”. If our senses are not vibrant, if our bodies are not fully sensuous, our sexual experiences will not be vibrant either; our meetings through sexuality will be a mirror of our own boredom, limitations, numbness.
It is important for me to share my own experience of a vibrant body, as a ground for sensitivity, sensuality and sexuality, because the body is our channel for consciousness. Embodied spirituality is consciousness manifested through the body. When this channel is fine tuned, aligned with its original gifts, unique to each individual, then our spirit can soar, then there is no difference between body and spirit, they interweave as energy visible-invisible.
Sexuality carries an awesome potential: to open the doors to infinity, to merge with another energy system, to experience no separation, the oneness that is life-flow. That is its magic power, its gift, its amazing potential for expanding consciousness.
4. I always wondered whether ashrams prepared you for life or created a false reality that wasn't mirrored on the outside. Your experience living in the Osho Commune in Pune was profound for you. You stayed there for about 8 years I believe. Was the transition to the so-called normal world difficult?
Yes, and no… it was and still is a process of integration.
Yes, because it was amazingly loving and caring and alive to live in an environment where almost all who chose to be there had a clear commitment with their own awareness. So, even if we were sharing spaces in an intimate way, there was immense respect for each other. There was awesome care and lovingness in the air!
No, because of course, the “world” at large does not have this same common intention, nor the lovingness that we have shared for so many years in the presence of a master of light and love.
The most interesting to observe is that ultimately, there is no difference ~ at the core we all have the same issues, and in an ashram we only have the opportunity to look at them, not run away, not get distracted, that was for me the greatest gift… And to continue to live with this commitment to myself, even when I am in an environment where others do not care. It is a challenge on a everyday life… However, the amazing gift of having lived for so long in an ashram, is that I have had the experience that it is possible and delightful to live in an environment of love, beauty, consciousness, collaboration, joy, easiness, sincerity… and this I cannot forget, I can only share wherever I am…
5. I personally find you magnetic and get excited at the possibility of gaining that vibrancy with personal work as I age. As women, we continue to be role models to those younger than us, however it seems that some women become bitter as they age and seem to wither. Do you believe as women we can look as vibrant post menopause? What is your advice to retain a sense of self as we age?
Absolutely! Strangely, I feel more alive, young, vibrant in the last years than as a young woman. Even though since a very young age my life and choices were already rather different than most people. Also I have been with other women who feel the same. My sense is that there are many factors that contribute to this feeling.
Meditation is a basic one: having learned to be alive with a certain awareness that does not engage in projections, comparisons, blaming, etc… but that makes me take more and more responsibility for my life and choices.
Body care is another factor: being sensitive to what I chose to eat, feeling what my body needs, choosing foods that are local, organic, grown with integrity, cooking for myself with awareness of food combination, use of spices, etc…
This includes a few daily routines, coming from the Ayurveda tradition, such as self-massage and other details.
Alive sexuality: being active sexually and conscious in the way I relate emotionally, physically, mentally. Choosing to relate with people who nourish what is essential for me in life, sharing in love, joy, honesty, honoring each other’s path.
6. How do you connect to your spirit on a daily basis? What is one practise you would suggest women do daily?
Breathing consciously, that simple… Paying attention to my breath, anywhere, everywhere…letting my breath go deep into my belly and genitals, like water that floods my cells… feeling the breath as the miracle of life… The simplest, and the deepest
Remembering that I am responsible for my responses to life (this does not mean that life is always going to bring me what I wish or feel to be needed…but mostly, magically, it does more than that when I am in the flow.)
Bowing down to the mystery, of what is beyond understanding, and feeling grateful that I can recognize it…
Choosing to be quiet on a daily basis, letting silence bathe my mind and heart…
As an explorer of the inner world, Komala transmits the art of being through Ayurveda-Yoga-Tantra as one path. She invites intimacy with ourselves, while igniting awareness in all aspects of relating. Her presence inspires others through dance, touch, healing, aliveness, meditative awareness, and deep silence.
Komala shares the experience of the body as a channel for consciousness, integrating sensuality and sexuality as a natural expression of heart-soul. Her unique presentations awaken core life force, and activate essential power.
Presently, she is co-creating a retreat place in Alto Paraiso de Goias, at the center of Brazil - her birthplace, and continues to work internationally.
She can be contacted at ayurvedamandala.net