Sandra RadjaComment

The exhaustive depleting state of obligation

Sandra RadjaComment

Everyone is exhausted. All the time. How are you? Busy. (Well ok, that ends that chit chat). If I was a cartoonist I would draw the "fullness" of everyone in every walk of life, with little angels flying above trying to find who they can drop "opportunity" on before the expiry date.

I'm going to say this  - I think we have discovered life outside of the planet earth because we're too busy to take on any more evolution.

So what's at the core of this phenomenon? I've mused on this idea of obligation as a culprit.

Even stock photos are "doing tired".

Even stock photos are "doing tired".

The definition of obligation "is being morally or legally bound to an action". The definition of moral behaviour is "concerned with the principles of right and wrong". The definition of "right" is "morally good". Mind twist stuff.

There is, of course, a fairly rigid legal right and wrong (don't make someone dead) but then there is the moral obligation which seems to change with the times (no to gay marriage, yes to gay marriage). So I feel pretty confident saying that there is a part of obligation that is personal and subjective and I believe, from client experience, that it can be part of the core issues of feeling depleted. 

Ever had sex out of love? I have heard Dr Lad say that to have sex in love increases Ojas but otherwise depletes it. My initial thought was sex in a committed relationship vs otherwise but now I'm not so sure, now I feel that the act of sex when done willingly and fully committed, can increase the vibrancy not just for that person but for the other person as well but if done out of a sense of obligation, even in a committed relationship, can lead to a state of depletion.

And aside from the variety of angles one can employ or how well "suited up" we can get, it may not cultivate the feeling required. Similar to our reproductive area, according to Ayurvedic biology, being the final tissue layer after the building and extracting of all of other tissue layers, we might consider that sex is but a product of our ability to be "in love" in other aspects of our lives - in a lead up to producing the side benefit of Ojas. Sex is a powerful life enhancing act, and we are withering away our opportunity for self renewal. 

If you do something out of obligation it will deplete you, if you do something out of love it will energise you.
— Mother Teresa

How many of us lead lives out of obligation? I've never said "I'm busy" when I'm writing. I say I've been writing but when I refer to the duty bound stuff I feel needs to be done like cleaning up, then I'm busy. I've noticed a stark difference on how I feel after each act.

I start off with clients giving them tasks to do re: morning routine and such but within it all, I'm always looking for how to merge the tasks with what they love, or if they forgot how love feels, then we work on the love feeling for a bit so we have a carrier for the good deeds they're doing. Otherwise what's the point? It just becomes more things to do that adds to an already predisposed state of being overwhelmed. 

I'm not entirely convinced doing the "right" things will just lead to a well being feeling. I meditated for years without effect until I was gently advised by Dr Lad to come to the practise with love. These days, if I'm feeling crappy and critical I may skip it knowing that the expansive state may just loudly echo my sentiments even more. Instead I have "chai with God" and she listens whilst I get it off my chest. Now I see the purpose of meditation as a very real thing and very soon after I do it.

What happens at the end of your goal to be healthy? What does it look like, what’s happening in your everyday?

Something to test for yourself. You have a couple of choices - shift your perspective on the agenda or let someone else do it (outsource it). But first it's really worth checking in with this question - do you believe you are here on earth to be miserable? This root belief is a good question to ask yourself because without this primary aim as the mission statement of your "business" here on earth, there may be an incoherence with the desire to be fulfilled and the distorted self perception of obligation in your daily life.

As a practical take home idea find that something/someone in your life that you love - meaning you have all the time in the world for this thing and you feel quite marvelous after being around this thing, and then see if you can attach your well being duties around that. 

Money back guarantee - your chances of sticking to your health goals will soar and you may just find your "I'm busy" will be replaced with "I'm engaged, I'm absorbed, I'm involved".